10 Basic Differences Between Men, Women

Published December 7, 1989.  A few weeks after Susan and I were married, we had an experience that was mildly distracting. We were riding along the freeway in our Corvair, and she nonchalantly reached over and turned on the car heater.

There was only one problem. I was sweating at the time, so I nonchalantly reached over a few seconds later and turned the car heater off. She gave me an icy look. Literally. She was cold, and I was hot. And neither of us believed the other.

At the time we were newlyweds we discovered a basic difference between us. Susan liked warm temperatures and I liked cooler ones. At the time of our discovery, we each thought the other was playing games. Little did we realize that response to room or environmental temperature is a basic difference between males and females.

The late Paul Popenoe, founder of the American Institute for Family Relations in Los Angeles, wrote a brief article on the physiological differences between the sexes. Here are a few of his observations:

1. Men and women differ in every cell of their bodies due to the basic difference in the chromosome combination that determines whether we are male or female. 
2. Women have greater constitutional vitality because they normally outlive men their same age by at least three to four years in the United States. 
3. The sexes differ in their basal metabolism – that of women being lower than that of men. 
4. Men and women differ in skeletal structure. Women have a shorter head, broader face, less protruding chin, shorter legs and a longer trunk. And for what it is worth, the first finger of a women’s hand is usually longer than the third finger. With men the reverse is true. And boys' teeth seem to last longer than do those of girls. 
5. Women have larger stomachs, kidneys, and livers, but smaller lungs. 
6. A woman’s thyroid is larger and more active. It enlarges during pregnancy and also during menstruation. It makes her more prone to goiter, provides resistance to cold, is associated with smooth skin and a relatively hairless body. There is also a thin layer of subcutaneous fat that is an important element in personal beauty. The active thyroid also, according to Popenoe, may be a contributing factor why most women laugh and cry more easily than do men. 
7. Women’s blood contains more water and 20 percent fewer red cells. Since these supply oxygen to the blood cells, she is more prone to faint. 
8. With a differing muscular structure, men and women differ in sheer strength. Men are 50 percent stronger than women. 
9. A woman’s heart beats more rapidly than does a man’s. (Eighty beats per minute for women: 72 for men). And her blood pressure is 10 points lower than her male counterpart’s, and it varies from minute to minute. But she has much less tendency to high blood pressure – at least until after menopause. 
10. And finally, (Are you reading this, Susan?) women tolerate higher temperatures better, and consequently lower temperatures worse, than do men because of metabolic differences.

Just think. It has taken me 25 years of marriage and earning a Ph.D. to finally figure out why Susan and I have the battle of the thermostat. And all this time I thought she was just being obstinate. 

A Boy Who Was Sandwiched Between Sisters

Published January 15, 1987.  Like most other families, ours got together over the holidays to do a little celebrating. My older sister Jane (Mrs. Lee) Sorenson from Bennion and my younger sister Karen (Mrs. Lance) Schneider of Sandy complained of the way I portrayed them in recent columns.

Once I stated that they picked up my wife Susan and went shopping at the local mall. When they returned, I saw smoke emerging from their purses from smoldering credit cards.

What is wrong with a statement like that? Apparently, they got a little kidding from friends and neighbors. I admit, however, that it is not true they formed a “Shop Till You Drop” club. Perhaps they should.

I have often tried to explain to Jane and Karen what it was like being the only boy with an older and younger sister. Did the many times they made me “play house” and dress up in Mom’s old clothes significantly affect my personality development? I sometimes wonder.

I’ve often tried, with limited success, to convince them that brothers and sisters do make a difference in each other’s growth and maturation. Furthermore, I believe that birth order does make a difference in character development. But my efforts around the dinner table to convince my two sisters of this have largely failed. They want proof.

Well, Jane and Karen, the time has come. In a recent “Marriage Encounter” magazine is an interesting article by Kathy Kelly, “Birth Order: Does It Matter?” She describes some of the characteristics of various children. I’m sitting here reading it now and trying to decide if these characteristics apply to my family.

According to the article, these are characteristics of the first child:

1.  Tends to try to dominate and control others. (Hmm . . .)
2.  Needs to be “right” most of the time. (Interesting . . .)
3. Feels powerful, yet burdened with the responsibility for younger children. (Really . . .)
4. Tends to develop a feeling of being a rather important individual.
5.  Is active, purposeful organized.

The article cites the following characteristics of the third child:

1.  Once a decision has been made, it cannot be changed. (That means stubborn.)
2.  Has trouble making choices.
3.  Can identify and assess issues, but rarely takes a stand.
4.  Has high tolerance of ambiguity.
5.  Overlooks details.

You are probably wondering about the characteristics of the second child. Let’s see, where did the article go? It was here just a minute ago. Now I can’t find it. Maybe I can repeat them from memory.

As I remember, the second child was trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. That’s not exact, but they were something like that.

A Lip-Smacking Diet

Published May 6, 1982.  Trying to lose a few pounds? (And who isn’t nowadays?) In your struggle with the Battle of the Bulge you may want to try something new in the weight loss area. What is it, you ask? Kissing! Yes, kissing.

Not only will you shed a few pounds, but you might spice up your marriage as well.

A team of Italian scientists has determined that the average kiss consumes somewhere between six and 12 calories depending on intensity and length. Susan and I went to a movie not long ago, and we thought the young couple in front of us was going to evaporate before the film ended. We were so offended, we moved away from them three times!

Now you may not think that six to 12 calories is much of a calorie consumption until you start doing some arithmetic. Two kisses a day—one in the morning and one in the evening—over a year’s time, and you’ve kissed away 2 ½ pounds. Sneak in additional smooches along the way, and you are talking about 3-5 pounds a year. Add in a few amorous evenings and who knows the potential of the smackers diet! The next time you are hungry, just reach for your mate instead of a plate.

But before you get carried away in your marital display of affection, you’d better have your heart checked. While kissing may be good for physical and emotional well-being, erotic kissing and that which follows can be detrimental to health if one has recently had a heart attack or has one coming on. If your heart is in good shape, kiss away and don't worry.

In their book “Fifty Ways to Stay Fit”  the editors of Executive Fitness Newsletter report, “Studies have shown that sex is about as strenuous as briskly climbing a flight of stairs.”

The newsletter notes the work of Joseph A. Alpert, MD, author of “The Heart Attack Handbook.” Following a heart attack, Dr. Alpert recommends that a married person avoids having sexual relationships:

·         Immediately after a large meal

·         For three hours after drinking alcohol

·         In extremely hot or cold temperatures

·         Before or after strenuous activity

·         If feeling anger or resentment

·         If one is fatigued

In most cases, Dr. Alpert observed that relations with a spouse may be resumed usually within three to eight weeks after a heart attack. And by way of encouragement he notes, “The rate of total sexual recovery from most heart attacks is very good.”

The Bible teaches, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven . . . a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3:15). Now, hundreds of years later, medical science confirms this observation.