Altered Perception or Hypocrisy?

Published November 11, 1982. Perception is an interesting thing. And often deceptive. For instance, how many ”F’s” are in the following sentence? FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPEREINCE OF MANY YEARS.  How many are there? Two, three, four? There are actually six. Did you see all of them the first time? Things are not always as they first appear to be.

This is also true in marital relationships. A husband and wife often have different viewpoints of what happens.

In a recent issue of “Marriage Encounter,” columnist Sidney J Harris, who also writes for the Deseret News, has an interesting column simply titled “Change.” In it he notes:

She married him because he was such a “dominating man.” She divorced him because he was such a “domineering male.”

He married her because “She reminds me of my mother.” He divorced her because “She’s getting more like her mother every day.”

She married him because “He knows how to provide a good living.” She divorced him because “All he thinks about is business.”

He married her because “We were childhood sweethearts.” He divorced her because “We were both just children when we got married.”

She married him because he was “suave and romantic.” She divorced him because he was “shiftless and fun-loving.”

He married her because she was “steady and sensible.” He divorced her because she was “boring and dull.”

She married him because he was “sweet and attentive.” She divorced him because he was “spineless and indecisive.”

He married her because she was “such a beauty.” He divorced her because “All she thinks of are her looks.”

She married him because he was so “intelligent and witty.” She divorced him because he was so “critical and wisecracking.”

He married her because “We have such a great sexual attraction for each other.” He divorced her because “We have nothing in common anymore.”

She married him because he was the “life of the party.” She divorced him because “He never wants to come home from a party.”

He married her because “She’s so neat and efficient.” He divorced her because “She thinks more of her furniture and the food than she does of me.”

She married him because “We have such great talks together.” She divorced him because “He never listens when I tell him anything.”

He married her because “She has such a gentle nature.” He divorced her because “She was so insanely jealous.”

Really now, who has changed?

Misjudging the actions of others without critically evaluating our own is nothing new. Jesus observed hundreds of years ago:

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s (spouse’s) eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

“Or how wilt thou say to thy brother (spouse), Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

“Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s (spouse’s) eye” (Matthew 7:3-5).