Tying the Knot Can Be the Key to a Healthy – and Happy – Life

Published November 30, 1989. Most men and women today seek a happy and healthy life. In the latter category, we are more conscious of what we eat, are aware of the benefits of exercise, and are becoming more concerned about the environment.

Many are not aware, however, that recent studies indicate that a stable marriage also contributes to good health and happiness.

Writing in the October issue of Marriage Encounter Magazine, Dr. David Mace notes, “It has been known for a long time that married men are much healthier and live longer than their unmarried counterparts. Whenever statistics have been collected, to my knowledge, this fact has been confirmed over and over again.

“But,” Mace asks, “what about women? Here the first impression seems to point to a different conclusion. Health records put the never-married woman at a slight advantage. This fact received a good deal of publicity in the women’s liberation groups, until a further exploration showed what tipped the scales was the fact that maternity is, to some extent, a health hazard. When we take this factor out of the picture, the married woman’s health prospects put her out in front, although we don’t have sufficient data yet about mothers with careers.”

Mace continues, “There is, therefore, a decided advantage in having an enduring marriage. So, for a healthy life, plan to marry by all means, but also invest the necessary time and effort to learn (and that is mainly a matter of learning) how to make your marriage a success.”

So much for health. What about happiness? Jonathan L Freedman has published a major study under the title “Happy People.” His questionnaires were filled out by no fewer than 100,000 Americans. And what makes people happy? The top items were not money or good looks but “loving and being loved.”

Mace points out that not all married people fit this category. And certainly single people have an ample opportunity to both love and be loved by others. “But marriage,” he notes, “certainly provides a most favorable setting for love to happen.”

Freedman also found some other interesting discoveries on what makes contemporary men and women happy. One was that, even when a first marriage fails, there are better chances for happiness in a second marriage than in remaining single. In addition, after the age of 40, unmarried men seem to settle down and become less unhappy. Single women, on the other hand, tend to become more unhappy as they grow older. (This finding alone may be a valid reason for some older women to keep a dial-tone husband and stay in a mediocre marriage.)

In conclusion, Mace notes, “All of these studies were treating all married people alike – there was no attempt to pick out the ones whose marriages were especially happy and successful. However, since we are now becoming more and more aware that couples who achieve their full marital potential are in a quite small minority, just imagine how we could improve the sum total of health and happiness if we could make it possible for most marriages to be truly enriched.”