Hormones Can Cause Moodiness

Published July 10, 1980 

QUESTION: It seems my wife gets awfully moody sometimes, and I don’t understand why. The problem is, neither does she. She says it’s “women’s problems” with no further explanation. Can you explain or suggest what I can do?

ANSWER: Perhaps all of us have our days when we experience the blahs and do not feel our best. This condition may be attributed to physical health, mental or emotional problems, external pressures, or a combination of all.

As for her “woman’s problems” she likely is referring to her menstrual cycle and/or menopause. Men must often plead ignorance on these topics, not that we do not care to know, but usually no one has taken the time to explain some of these processes to us.

You did not indicate the age of your wife, but if she is in her late 30’s or early 40’s, she could be experiencing menopause. In his book, “What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women,” Dr. James Dobson has written an informative chapter titled “Menstrual and Physiological Problems.” He lists several physical and emotional symptoms associated with menopausal transition.

Among the emotional symptoms often accompanying menopause are prolonged depression, extremely low self-esteem, low frustration tolerance, inappropriate emotional responses such as crying when things are not sad, or depression during relatively good times. Also included are irregular sleep patterns, inability to concentrate, and difficulty in remembering. But most important of all for husbands to remember is during major hormonal readjustments, many women need constant assurance of love.

Hormonal changes in women are not limited to menopause. They occur during pregnancy and particularly after child-birth when some women experience post-partum depression. Some women experience major emotional changes during the normal monthly menstrual cycle. Dr. Dobson reports, “Self-esteem in women is directly related to estrogen levels; hence, it (self-esteem) fluctuates predictably through the 28-day cycle.”

Estrogen levels in women are at their lowest point, as apparently is self-esteem, immediately before, during and after menstruation. The level of estrogen peaks near the time of ovulation, at midcycle. This is also the time most women experience the greatest emotional optimism and self-confidence. Dr. Dobson cites several research studies to document his claims.

As to how to treat a moody wife, regardless of the origin of the moodiness. Peg Bracken has written a poem titled “Of the Monday Mood and the Man” To husbands she recommends the following:

            And one bright morning, lad, you’ll wake to find

            Her personal sun eclipsed by black clouds blown

            From some dark stratum of the female mind

            As melancholy marks her for her own.

            And there’s no cure save time, but mind you this

            Oh, double now thy standard daily ration

            Of small fond deeds – the dinner out, the kiss,

            The one sure miracle drug. Appreciation!

            For wife, like husband, child, and lesser beast,

            Most needs it, son, when she deserves it least.