Keeper of Spear – Major Role

Published August 20, 1981. It is common knowledge that behind every successful man there is a conscientious wife and a surprised mother-in-law. And there may be more truth in this statement when we realize, particularly about the conscientious wife.

Not long ago I was interested that wives of corporate executives at a nationally known company in Chicago asked the company for an annual salary of over $25,000 for themselves. The wives claimed that if they did not provide the support necessary for their husband, the corporate executives would not be as effective on the job. In addition, they would have to pay over $25,000 to someone else to do what wives do for husbands.

It is something to think about. Does a company actually employ the services of both husband and wife, even if only one gets a paycheck?

Another trend indicating the importance of wives in husbands’ employment is the recruiting patterns. Most recruiters want to meet the spouse of a potential employee. This is to see how she feels about her husband’s possible employment with the company. Because wives do play a major part in a husband’s success, many corporations have wives’ clubs and social events for spouses indicating that wives must be satisfied in order for her husband to be productive on the job.

The entire family’s impact on employment is also evident, since many large companies now hire marriage and family therapists on a full-time basis to counsel with an employee and his or her family members. Marital and family turmoil can greatly affect an employee’s morale. If counseling is not provided by the company, many organizations will now pay for all or part of the counseling fee as part of the insurance plan or employee benefits.

And with more and more married women gainfully employed, it is probably true that a husband’s support, or lack of it, can greatly influence her work as well.

Sooner or later most husbands will come to the realization that much of what he accomplishes in life can be attributed to his wife. But then most wives have known that for years.

I like the advice of Jerome Chodorov who said to wives “I’ll tell you the real secret of how to stay married. Keep the cave clean. They (husbands) want the cave clean and spotless. Air conditioned, if possible. Sharpen his spear, and stick it in his hand when he goes out in the morning to spear the bear.

“And when the bear chases him, console him when he comes home at night. Tell him what a big brave man he is. And then hide the spear so he doesn’t fall over it and stab himself.”

Some may think that “Keeper of the Spear” is a minor role in society today. Apparently, many wives and corporate presidents do not think so. It was Mark Beltaire who observed, “A happy wife sometimes has the best husband, but more often makes the best of the husband she has.”