Happy Wife, Happy Life

Published October 29, 1982. Henny Youngman once said, “I wouldn’t want to say that my wife always gets her way and does everything that she wants to do, but she does write her diary a week ahead of time.” This, indeed, may be the common plight of many contemporary husbands.

Realizing that some husbands do have difficult moments in present-day marriage, I thought I might make a few observations to and about husbands.

Writer Ogden Nash gave this counsel to husbands who desire a tranquil marriage:

            To keep your marriage brimming,

            With love in a loving cup,

            Whenever you’re right, shut up!

And the editors of the Memphis Cook Book recently noted, “A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement in cooking and so are not tender and good. Some women keep them constantly in hot water; others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew with irritating ways and words. Some wives keep them pickled, while others waste them shamefully. It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good when so managed, but they are really delicious when prepared properly.”

The Reverand Billy Graham also believes men will be better husbands if they follow the example of the family dog. He observes “Dogs are quick to show their affection. They never pout, they never bear a grudge. They never run away from home when mistreated. They never complain about their food.  They never gripe about the way the house is kept. They are chivalrous and courageous, ready to protect their mistress at the risk of their lives. They love children, and no matter how noisy and boisterous they are, the dog loves every minute of it. In fact, a dog is stiff competition for a husband. Perhaps if we husbands imitated a few of our dog’s virtues, life with our family might be more amiable.”

And finally, some unknown sage left this interesting bit of advice for contemporary husbands:

“If you’d lead a happy life,

Never argue with your wife,

Often call her ‘Dear’ and ‘Honey’

Always give her all the money,

Always praise her dress anew,

Let her run your business, too;

Say the cooking was divine,

That the socks were mended fine,

And the angels in the skies

Never had such hair and eyes;

Stay right in the house each night,

Say her mother was alright;

Meekly creep around the house

Like some helpless little mouse –

And if this wisdom you should doubt,

Disobey, and you’ll find out!”

Seriously, I do think these are tough times for many husbands. Numerous men have indicated to me that they wished their wives would be more supportive at home and in their endeavors away from home to earn the daily living. And several empathetic wives have asked how they might show more support for their husbands. So here is what we’ll do.

I’m going to ask husbands (that’s right, husbands) to write to me and share a few ideas how wives could be more supportive. And for those who do write, I will make a summary of the letters and send each respondent a copy. Comments will be included (anonymously) in future columns.

One final thought, Mark Beltaire observed, “A happy wife sometimes has the best husband, but more often makes the best of the husband she has.”