What’s the Purpose of a Religion?

Published June 23, 1983. Maybe I don’t understand the scriptures. Or maybe I don’t understand the way some people interpret the scriptures. Perhaps you could help me.

Recently I spoke at a marriage seminar in another state. Afterward, a man asked to talk to me.

The man was in his late 40s and very successful in his business. And from all outward appearances he seemed to be a religious man. During our conversation he expressed the desire to become even more religious. And in doing so he felt it would be necessary to leave and eventually divorce his wife.

I asked what kind of wife he had. Was she an atheist, agnostic, or heretic? He replied she was none of these. In fact she was a member of his church and attended regularly with him. But to him, she was not as devoted as he believed himself to be. He indicated that, aside from her apparent lack of zeal for religion, she was a fairly good wife and an excellent mother to their five children.

To justify his proposed action, he read me Luke 14:26, which states:

“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”

On this one biblical verse the man justified leaving his wife. This also gave him a rationale for some of the hostile feelings he had toward her. I told the man I understood Christianity to be a religion of love, not hate. I also indicated I believed the purpose of religion was to bring husbands and wives closer together, rather than separate them.

I asked the man to also read Matthew 10:37 where it states.

“He that loveth father, or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” To me this Bible verse, similar to the one he quoted in Luke, places the emphasis on priorities and love rather than on separation and hostility.

I had to catch the plane back to Utah. I wished him well but indicated I did not understand a man or a religion that required him to leave his wife and family in order to be more religious. I told him that a religion really should not separate husbands and wives, in this life or in the next. I also said I didn’t want to go anywhere without my wife, Susan, before or after death.

On the plane flying back to Salt Lake City, I began to wonder. Am I really a Christian? Do I understand the scriptures as the man believed he did? Should I admire a man who becomes so religious he believes he needs to leave his wife?

During the flight I continued to wonder. Then as we approached the Salt Lake Airport I reached down in my briefcase and took out my Bible. I opened it to 1 Corinthians 11:11 and read:

“Neither is the man without the woman, neither is the woman without the man, in the Lord.”

And somehow I felt there was still hope for someone like me.