Mother’s Place Is in the Home and Father's Place Is, too!

August 18, 1983. A few years ago KSL television produced a one hour program on Women and Depression. Many in your state were interested because LDS women were interviewed in the program, and the conclusion was reached that Mormon women become depressed with no greater frequency, but again with no less frequency, than do other women.

The program, I felt, was educational, informative and brought to our attention an area often neglected. That is the emotional stability of women and particularly those who are married with young children.

I was discussing this a few days ago with a friend in Salt Lake, Dr. Val MacMurray. Val shared with me an article he co-authored with David C. Spendlove, M.S.W., and James R. Gaveleck, PhD all of whom are affiliated with the University of Utah Medical Center. The article is titled “Learned Helplessness and the Depressed Housewife.” It was originally published in the Journal of Social Work, Vol. 26, No. 6, November 1981, pp. 474-479.

Spendlove, Gavelock and MacMurray point out in their article that 4 percent of the mothers in the United States, with children under the age of 18, do not work outside their homes. This represents approximately 14.3 million women whose foremost responsibility is managing a home and most likely rearing children.

Allow me to quote three paragraphs from their article that I believe has particular relevance for married couples. They note:

One of the primary stresses on most housewives that accounts for both dependence and depression is child rearing. For several reasons, the demands of caring for children for most of the day leave the housewife more vulnerable than her employed husband to feelings of dependence. Having small children often means that a women does not have time for adult contacts or time for being alone; moreover, the house wife who usually spends the majority of the day with her children may find them demanding her time and effort in a manner that is not intellectually stimulating. Her husband on the other hand, has the dual role of father and wage earner and not only receives emotional support at home, but often obtains a degree of intellectual stimulation at work. In addition, he has access to a network of social supports within the context of his job.

 A study by Brown and Harris recently found that women who had more than two children under the age of 14 were significantly more depressed than women who had fewer than two children, but that if the variable of number of children in the home was controlled for, women who worked were less depressed than those who did not. Merely working outside the home reduced by 50 percent the incidence of depression among the women included in the study who did not have a supportive relationship with a male companion. In the case of women who had such a relationship, the number of children at home did not influence the development of depression.

The implications one can draw from these findings are that women at home with more than two children need to have a supportive relationship with a male companion if they are to be relatively free from depression. Furthermore, the greater the number of young children a woman has, the more dependent she becomes on this key relationship. If a woman lacks such a relationship or is involved in a relationship that is not functioning well, the likelihood increases that she will feel depressed.

Draw your own conclusions from the article. I found it thought-provoking. I once read a sign that said “A mother’s place is in the home, and so is the father’s!” And now we know why.