Published March 22, 1984. Someone once noted that the best new thoughts are often the
best old thoughts. That is one reason I like to go over to the BYU library. I
like to find old books and read old thoughts which, in turn, become new
thoughts for me.
Not long ago I was browsing through the books in the
marriage section of the library, where I often end up. I took one book off the
shelf. It was titled “Preparing For Marriage” and was written in 1942. I did
not recognize the name of the author. Neither would you.
I sort of smiled as I thumbed through the book. (I hesitate
to call it an old book. It was written a year after I was born.) A book written
in 1942 on preparing for marriage would have been written for young men and
women born in the late 1910’s to the early 1920’s. They would now be between 60
and 70 years old. What information would they have been given at that time of
preparation for marriage?
As I glanced through the table of contents, I noticed one
topic titled “Sane Sex Knowledge Important to Marital Happiness.” Somewhat
curious, I turned to the pages with the information. What would
they have to say about sexuality in marriage more than 40 years ago?
On page 90 I read the following:
“Men and women engaged in human welfare work know full well
the devastating effects of ignorance in sex matters. Fear, sorrow, a sense of
guilt, often groundless, and sometimes disease have been the companions of
ignorance. It is encouraging to know now, however, that schools, institutions,
counselors, and some families are recognizing, more and more, the need for sane
sex knowledge as preparations for future marital happiness. Reason and common
sense are coming to take the place of prudery and false modesty in dealing with
the question.”
I turned the page and saw another sub-title, “The Normal
Functioning of Sex.” It stated:
“The question is often asked, ‘Is there a normal functioning
of sex?’ A negative answer would imply misunderstanding of the question, a lack
of appreciation of the purposes of sex, or a willful desire toward sex
perversion. Wherever there are normal persons there may be normal sex
functioning. Evidently the first of such functioning must be procreation.
Likely no other means for perpetuating the race was ever considered. Did man
institute it? No. Then God must have done so. This makes it a divine process.
Should it not be so regarded?
“The next normal functioning is that of enhancement of
personality. God has declared ‘man is not without the woman nor the woman
without the man in the Lord’ (1Corinthians 11:11). Men and women who have lived
normally and happily together for years can testify to the personality
contributions of each to the other in normal sex relationship. Those who have
failed can testify to the personality deterioration they have suffered.”
The section concluded, “Another normal function of sex is
that of spiritual unfoldment. This is a natural conclusion of personality
enhancement and of thoughtful and purposeful conclusion. All the enduring
values of life are heightened, taking on an added significance, when sex
functions in its normal ways.”
As I said, some of the best new thoughts are often the best
old thoughts. This is also apparently true on this particular topic.
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