Protection in the ‘Nesting Box’

Published August 9, 1984. Our children, like most, don’t always get along with each other. They like to squirt each other with the ironing spray bottle. Or they will argue about whose turn it is to help with the dishes. As they pass in the hall they like to pinch and punch each other. They compete to see who can get to the new cereal box first to get the prize. The younger ones fight over the possession of our cat until the older ones threaten to give it a ride in the clothes dryer. And all this seems to be ongoing.

As their parents, Susan and I sometimes worry about what they are doing to each other’s self-esteem and self-image. Are they doing irreparable damage? Is one personality being swallowed up by another? What kind of adults will they turn out to be when there is so much confrontation between siblings at home?

I continued to worry until one summer we decided to raise a few rabbits. We drove to a farm where a man, Park Romney, had some rabbits to sell. We told him we wanted a doe that would eventually have a litter so he sold us one that was bred. As we went to leave he said, “If you want the baby rabbits to survive, make sure they stay in the nesting box.”

Park said that four or five days before the doe is ready to kindle (or have little rabbits) you have to put a nesting box in the rabbit pen. He showed us the size to build and said we should also put some fresh straw in it. The mother would pull some of her own fur to make a cozy nest for her young ones.

After the little rabbits are born it is important, he reiterated, that they remain in the nesting box with the others. Check daily, he said, to make sure they are there. If they remain outside the nest too long they will die.

I told Park I didn’t understand. Even though they were outside the nest, they were still within range of their mother for their daily feedings. He said that was true, but indicated little rabbits needed each other for two reasons: (1) they needed the warmth generated by each other to keep warm, and (2) they also needed the stimulus of movement from the others to keep alive.

He took us to one of his rabbit pens to show us what he meant. We looked at one litter of little rabbits a week or so old. It appeared to be one continual mass of squealing furry movement. The little rabbits, with eyes still closed, were bumping and poking each other. One was particularly struggling at the bottom of the nest. Three other little rabbits were lying on top of him. But as we were watching he eventually struggled out from under the inconvenience.

While we were there the doe jumped in the nest box for feeding time. There was competition, to say the least, to be the first to the dinner table. But it was the struggle, the attempt to overcome difficulty and even frustration, that kept the little rabbits moving and alive.

Perhaps the home is also a place where family members learn about conflict, frustration, and inconveniences. Not only to confront but hopefully to learn to deal constructively with them. If children do not learn these skills at home, they have a difficult, if not impossible task learning them outside the home once they leave. If properly managed, the confrontations that arise out of sibling rivalry in the home can serve a beneficial purpose.

Apparently the chance of children and little rabbits surviving in the world depends largely on their ability to learn to cope while in the nesting box.

And the day will come when the nesting box will be gone.