Old Coots Aren’t Always Over the Hill

Published September 26, 1985. In my course on marriage preparation, there is an important unit on mate selection. We discuss the concept of homogamy, which simply means that people tend to marry others much like themselves. This is the case in regards to race, religion, socioeconomic class, education, and age.

Regarding the latter category, age, we usually discuss the fact that in first marriages people tend to marry others within three to five years of their own age. Recent research indicates only eight percent of married couples in first marriages have an age difference greater than 10 years.

I’m one generation older, 20 or more years, than most of the students in my classes. One day I asked a young coed why she would or would not marry someone my age. First, she indicated that I was as old as her father. Then she paused and noted that I was not necessarily over the hill, but in an indirect way suggested I was approaching the summit.

Marrying someone near your own age is a long-standing norm and is also apparently important in most instances.

Not long ago I was reading a volume of Kate B. Carter’s “Our Pioneer Heritage.” In the book I found a short biography of Mary Jane McCleve, who was born in Belfast, Ireland, on August 21, 1840. She was the fourth of 10 children born to John and Nancy Jane McCleve. The McCleve Family eventually emigrated to the United States during the summer of 1856 and were among the early Mormon pioneers in Utah.

Like any other young woman at the time, Mary Jane McCleve was interested in marriage and was looking for a suitable husband. Within a short time she found one, a physician known as Dr. Priddy Meeks. Dr. Meeks claimed it was love at first sight, so he courted Mary Jane and eventually won both her heart and her hand. On November 12, 1856, the two were married. Those attending the ceremony would have noted only one unusual characteristic of the couple

Mary Jane was 16 years of age. Dr. Priddy Meeks was 61.

So much for the concept of homogamy and age at marriage. What happened to the newly wedded couple? They moved to Southern Utah where they lived for 27 years. During their marriage they had 10 children. Then, Dr. Priddy Meeks died in 1883 at the age of 88. Shortly before his death he wrote in his journal:

People may say what they please about being mismated in age in marriage, but the Lord knows most about these matters, and if there was ever a match consummated by providence of God this was one. She (Mary Jane) has borne 10 children, and if anything they were above the average of smartness, all well formed and intelligent. I have often said if I had picked over the whole territory I could not have suited myself as well as Mary Jane.

What happened to the Irish immigrant Mary Jane McCleve? After her husband died, she continued to rear her children by herself. She lived for another 50 years and died on January 19, 1933 at the age of 93.

And what of the posterity of the 16-year-old Irish girl and the 61-year-old physician? At the time of her death, Mary Jane McCleve Meeks had 10 children, 62 grandchildren, 131 great-grandchildren, and 15 great-great-grandchildren

And who knows, or can even guess, how many living descendants they have today?