Tough or Tender? What Kind of Man Was Jesus?

Published March 27, 1986. Next Sunday is Easter Sunday, and millions of people around the world will be celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth.

During his lifetime Jesus became both controversial and popular. And He still remains so today. Many men who claim to be Christians confront the concept of masculinity. On one hand we have the image of masculinity depicted by Madison Avenue. It is the aggressive, unfeeling, uncaring, macho, competitive, and sometimes abrasive male who smokes cigarettes while riding a horse in a snow storm. On the other hand, there is a concept of masculinity advocated by Christianity which suggest men should be kind, patient, tender, and loving like Jesus. Supposedly, these two models of masculinity contradict each other.

Many Christians are quick to point out that Jesus was aggressive. He cleansed the temple of money changers and vocally confronted the religious leaders of the time. But what about His tenderness? Was he also a compassionate man? And if so, should His life be a model for contemporary Christian husbands and fathers?

Walter Trobisch, a Christian writer, has written an interesting book titled “The Misunderstood Man.” He comments of the dilemma of contemporary Christian men and then comments on the tender nature of Jesus of Nazareth. He writes:

Jesus became a person who could not only express his feelings of loving care, but he could also be the recipient of such feelings. He put all his love into a single glance when he looked upon the rich young ruler: ‘Jesus looked at him and loved him’ (Mark 10:21) NIV.

Jesus was not afraid to show his anger. In Mark 3:5 we read, ‘He looked around at (the Pharisees) with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart.’ He openly showed he was deeply upset about Lazarus’s death; ‘When Jesus saw (Mary) weeping and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled . . . Jesus wept’ (John 1:33, 35). He also cried over Jerusalem. ‘When he drew near and saw the city he wept over it’ (Luke 19:41).

Neither was Jesus afraid of physical touch. He held children close to him. He washed the feet of his disciples. John rested upon his breast. He touched sick people and took the hands of the dead.

And he let himself be touched! A woman was allowed to wash his feet with her tears and to dry them with her hair. ‘Standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with ointment’ (Luke 7:38). Later he reproached his host Simon, ‘You gave me no kiss’ (Luke 7:45). Jesus didn’t even refuse the kiss of Judas.

This Easter Season will once again commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus. But let us also remember his life and the example he set for others to follow. And for Christian men, Walter Trobisch gives this final admonition:

This Jesus who feels deeply is our example. But he is more than our model. For he lives in the redeemed man, conforming him to his image. The power of Christ within, not a man’s own powers, sets him free not only to feel again his own feelings but also to feel the feelings of others. He can stand by their side as Christ would and with motherly tenderness dry away their tears with his big crumpled handkerchief.

May we all so live and love.