Yes, It’s Possible to Learn to Love Each Other Again

Published May 7, 1987. It has been unusual. During the past month I have been contacted by at least five individuals who all have asked the same question: If a husband and wife no longer love each other, is it possible to learn to love each other again? It is an interesting question. And the answer may be partly responsible for the future of the five different marriages.

I am a firm believer that action generally follows thought or belief. And it is so critical to those husbands and wives who are wrestling with the question of whether or not they can love each other again.

One of the people who contacted me was one of our very close friends. We have known the couple for all 18 years of their marriage. She wrote a letter indicating she and her husband no longer love each other and are seriously contemplating divorce. She then asked if it was possible for them to fall in love again. I write very few personal letters, but here are a few thoughts in my reply.

I shed a few tears after receiving your letter. Maybe it is because I care a great deal what happens to you and your children. You asked whether it is possible for the two of you to love each other again?

The simple answer is ‘yes.’ It is possible to love each other again. Totally, deeply and completely. Others have done it, and so can you.

You indicated you have sought divine guidance through prayer on this matter. One of the strange but simple truths in life is that “all things are possible” (See Matthew 17:20, Mark 9:23, and Philippians 4:13).

We share similar religious values and believe in a second life, or a ‘life hereafter.’ Sometimes we hope it will be spent with others, some of whom we now know. Most of us believe the ‘next life’ begins after death. (And in a real sense, you and your husband have experienced the death of your relationship.) But as my friend and associate, Dr. Lynn Scoresby, a psychologist, has reminded so many people, this second life can begin during mortality. And it can begin with people with whom we are presently associated.

A new life together is possible for you, but it will take genuine belief, work, and effort. All things are possible. But we determine whether or not they will occur.

Is such a thing possible?