Marriage From a Mother's Perspective

Published June 22, 1989. If the projections are accurate, approximately 25 million couples will marry in the United States in 1989. June seems to be the month that most weddings occur, even though couples are increasingly choosing other times of the year for marriage.

When we attend weddings, we often focus on the bride and groom. We also go through the wedding line and greet the families, bridesmaids, and best man. Later we meet other friends who have gathered for the occasion. For the newly weds, it is a time of excitement as they commence their lives together. But what is going through the minds of their parents at the time of the marriage?

In the June issue of the "Marriage Enrichment Newsletter," Martha Brown shared some thoughts from her son’s recent wedding. She wrote:

I always find it exciting to stand at the point where two streams merge to form a larger stream. Each stream carries with it evidence of the path it has previously traveled. The woods and meadow through which it has passed have shaped it, given it life and content, and made it what it is. As the two distinct streams meet, they become something totally new – blending and mixing the heritage and contents of each one’s past. The origins and roots of each stream are carried into the new stream. Yet, the new one, strengthened by the merger, has a destiny and a future all its own – a destiny yet to be determined.

This analogy of the streams came to my mind as the week of our son’s wedding hastened through its many events toward the high point of the wedding itself. We were surrounded by family who had stood by us through the journey of our lifetime and friends who had supported us through the years of forging values, beginning careers, raising a family, and enjoying life’s pleasures. We experienced the confluence of the many persons who had played important roles in the different stages of our lives.

I became aware that the bride’s parents were having a similar experience, and indeed, so was the young couple. Gathered there to celebrate with them were some of their earliest playmates, dearest relatives, most mischievous college friends, and present business associates. Seldom in one’s lifetime, I suspect, is there an opportunity to weave together at one point in time those persons who have influenced one’s life over the span of years and those who will be prominent players in the life span that lies ahead.

With these thoughts in mind. I toasted the bridal couple with the analogy of the streams – giving thanks for the roots from which they sprang, saluting them for who they have become, encouraging them to break new ground and chart their own course in their quest to fulfill their dreams.

We thank Martha Brown, the mother of a recent groom for sharing her thoughts at the time her son married. Undoubtedly, many other parents share similar sentiments at the weddings of their own sons and daughters.