Thoughts on ‘Parenthood’ Divide Readers

Published September 28, 1989. I think I’ll leave movie reviews to others. My first, and probably my last attempt to review a film resulted in some interesting and some critical responses from column readers.

A few weeks ago, Susan and I had gone to see the movie “Parenthood,” and we were disappointed. I mentioned why. About half of those who wrote agreed with my assessment of the movie. The other half disagreed. Some readers suggested I have been living in outer space during the past few years and am out of touch with current movie trends.

One woman wrote, “I am furious about the column you wrote concerning the movie ‘Parenthood.’ No, this family was not beautiful. There were problems between parents and children and siblings and friends and with school – and yes, that is real. I would think that as a marriage counselor you would welcome a movie that wasn’t afraid to address some of those disturbing parent-child-relationships . . . I believe that movies like ‘Parenthood’ can serve as a catalyst to begin to talk about these problems. They open up the door that leads to the passage many families have been through – but few admit to having entered.”

A teacher wrote, “It wasn’t until two weeks ago when I saw ‘Parenthood’ that I saw how we could educate society. In my opinion the movie is an educational art form. Two years ago I would have thought this film was repulsive. Now I feel this film is not crude because it portrays real life.”

Still another woman observed, “I felt ‘Parenthood’ showed several families with common problems of today and ‘for fun’ brought them together for a ‘happy ending’ . . . Maybe when it comes down to it, every person is different and each one of us knows the areas in our mind that are upsetting to our soul. I believe that most movies produced today are not uplifting or entertaining. Not all families and children ‘turn out’ (for lack of a better word) like we had planned or worked for. We never stop being parents – ever!”

A father wrote, “I think ‘Parenthood’ was a good movie. Especially in a time when so much is wrong with the world. It is was nice to come out of the movie thinking that even though life is messy, it’s OK because I believe we are here to learn and grow, and what sometimes seems like a big problem in a life eventually turns out to be a blessing. I don’t see too many movies anymore, but I would recommend Parenthood.’ I would tell people to leave their kids at home and take your spouse. I think it’s worth the time.

The other half of those who wrote agreed with my observations. A comment by a father represents most of the others sent in. “I agree wholeheartedly with your comments about ‘Parenthood.’ The reviews of the movie were quite misleading. The opening family song in the car, a ditty about diarrhea, should have warned me, but I kept hoping. It only got worse. I left the theater feeling dirty and exploited. My wife and I were so offended that we don’t care to see any so-called PG-13 movies again. Incidentally, we’re Democrats most of the time. (In my column I had confessed a conservative bias in that I usually voted Republican.) We are not prudes, but the cheap, sordid laughs destroyed the possibilities in such a movie. Jason Robbards, a great actor, was really disgusting. Let us hope for reviews that are accurate, and if they must be critical, let the chips fall where they may be in diminished audiences, and we will send a message to the moguls of Hollywood.”

Does the media merely reflect the values of society, as many readers suggested, or contribute to them? Or both? The debate will likely continue.