In a Rodney Dangerfield Life, Fathers Need More Respect

Published December 16, 1983. I now know why Rodney Dangerfield is so popular. He keeps reminding us that people need more respect. This is particularly true of fathers in the home.

The other night, for instance, we were expecting company, so I went into the bathroom to shower. From the shower I called out to Susan, “Do I have any clean socks?” “Yes,” she replied, and then paused. “Do they have to match?” I, too, paused and called back, “No, not really. Just get them as close as you can.”

Susan also informed me not to get the clean towels wet since we were expecting company. So there I was trying to dry myself off with a bunch of Kleenex. As I said, men need more respect.

My oldest son, Doug, received his driver’s license last spring, so what happens during this, his first winter of driving? Whenever we go somewhere together, Doug has to drive. He questions my ability to drive the family car on icy roads.

My oldest daughter, Tammy, is in the ninth grade. Need I say more? We are in a car pool where I drive Tammy and some of her friends to school. She recently asked me, in private, not to listen to my radio stations while driving to school. In the words of a ninth grader, “It is soooo embarrassing!” She also suggested that, while we are driving alone in the car, I not honk the horn at my friends. If I must do so, I have to let her know in advance, so she can slide down in the seat where no one could see her.

Not long after my talk with Tammy, my 11-year-old son Jon commented, “Dad, you must have had a dull time when you were a boy.”

I asked why, and he replied, “Because there were no video games to play at a mall.” After thinking over Jon’s observation, I concluded he was right. By the standards of today’s youth, I must have had a dull childhood.

Later Jason, age 7, told me he had learned a few new karate maneuvers and wanted to practice them. I agreed. A little father-and-son scuffle might be kind of cute. But Jason had one request. That request was that I not fight back while he practiced his karate skills.

Kris, our 4-year old, does not say disrespectful things. She just does them. She has recently discovered bubble gum, but she has not yet learned what to do with it when she is finished. We have told her not to swallow it. So the next logical thing for a 4-year old to do with chewed-up bubble gum is to put it somewhere convenient and out of sight, like the inside of Dad’s Sunday shoes.

But the incident that really convinced me that fathers need more respect happened with my son Brian, who is a seventh grader. Recently Brian told me that something was bothering him, and he wanted to talk to me, alone. We agreed to do it that evening, and all during the day I was proud that one of my sons would confide in me during a father-and-son talk.

Later that night, after everyone else had gone to bed, Brian and I met for our talk. “It has been on my mind for some time now, and I wanted to ask you a question.” I leaned back in my chair and tried to look fatherly. “And what is your question, Brian?

“I’ve been wondering,” he began, “if you stood on your head and ate a sandwich, would the food go up or down?” I thanked Brian for confiding in me, and after a few moments of silence I told him I did not know the answer. But true to training in family counseling, I suggested that perhaps we could find the answer together.

Brian asked if one of us could do an experiment, and I said perhaps so. He then said he was tired and wanted to go to bed. If I did decide to stand on my head and eat a sandwich, he said to let him know in the morning.

Parents, like Rodney Dangerfield, do need more respect. I have always maintained that parenthood is forced humility.