Time to Count Your Many Blessings

Published November 1983. It is that time of year again when we pause to count and give thanks for our many blessings. Consistent with the season, I began to think the other day about our marriage and family. Truly, there are many things for which we are grateful.

I sat down with pencil and paper and began to outline the history of our marriage. It seemed to fall into distinct periods, and I thought if I ever wrote a book about it the outline would be something like this:

Chapter One: “Beginnings, 1965-1968.” We were married on June 5, 1965, and during our first year I attended BYU to complete my bachelor’s degree. Susan taught at Cherry Hill Elementary School in Orem while I finished my senior year. The following two years we lived in Kaysville, Utah, where I taught LDS Seminary at Davis High School and finished my master’s degree. Doug was born in 1967.

Chapter Two: “Preparation, 1968-1971.” During this time we moved to Tallahassee, Florida where I worked on my Ph.D. at Florida State University. Tammy was born in 1969 and Brian in 1971 in Florida.

Chapter Three: “Establishment, 1971-1977.” For the next three years we lived in Carbondale, Illinois and then Eau Claire, Wisconsin. I taught at Southern Illinois University and then at the University of Wisconsin-Stout. Jon was born in Illinois in 1973 and Jason was born in Wisconsin in 1976.

Chapter Four: “Chaos, 1977-1983.” During these six years we came to Utah where I have been teaching at BYU. Kris was born in 1980, three of the children moved into their teens, Susan has been teaching part-time, I have been trying to write newspaper columns and books, and we have been trying to build a new house. It seems we are all going a hundred miles an hour in four different directions.

After outlining Chapter Four, Chaos, I became philosophical. We have all our children now, and with the oldest nearly 17 and the youngest moving up on 4, maybe the worst of the hectic pace is behind us. Perhaps things will settle down now, so I outlined the next chapter. Chapter Five: “Stability, 1983 and on.”

I was quite proud of my outline and called to Susan as she came in the door. “Please come here, I have something to show you.”

“Yes, and I have something to tell you,” she said as she came in and took off her coat.

“Look,” I boasted as I showed her the outlined history of our marriage. “Don’t you like the way I have divided it into five chapters?”

“What is this Chapter Five, Stability?” she asked. “And what does it mean?”

“Well,” I leaned back as I began, “I think that we are through the most difficult parts of parenting. The worst of the fast-paced life is about over. We have six children, and now we have to help them grow up.” Susan was quiet for a few moments as she reviewed my outline.

“By the way, where have you been?” I asked.

“I had an appointment with the doctor,” she replied.

“Is anything wrong?” I asked.

“No, not really,” she answered, and then paused . . . “We’re going to have another baby!”

Now we were both quiet and reflective. After a few more moments of silence I said, “Maybe we had better cancel Chapter Five, Stability, and continue Chapter Four, Chaos.”

“Yes,” Susan said. “That would seem appropriate.” Then she left the room.

I continued to ponder and reflect. It is still Thanksgiving, and we are still thankful. We can still count our many blessings and can literally name them one by one. Among those many blessings are Doug, Tammy, Brian, Jon, Jason, and Kris. And next summer we will be able to add another blessing . . . or two.

I forgot to ask Susan if there was any indication of twins.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Barlows, all eight-plus of us.