Setting the Day’s Tone


Published July 30, 1981. After graduating from college several years ago, I began my teaching career at Davis High School in Kaysville, Utah. It was there that I met Ken Sheffield who was just completing a long and successful career as a teacher and administrator.

On several occasions my wife and I had the opportunity to talk to Ken and Lucille Sheffield and were impressed with the enthusiasm and zest for life they both had as they planned for retirement.

One thing we noticed about the Sheffields was the concern and attentiveness they showed to each other as marriage partners. They confided that they were particularly sensitive about the last words spoken to each other as they parted each morning. What they said to each other at that time and how they said it often set the tone for the whole day. And particular efforts were made not to leave each other in the morning with negative thoughts or feelings.

As a newly married couple Susan and I thought the practice was sound and tried to incorporate in into our own marriage. And most of the time, we have been successful.

I read a poem the other day that reminded me of Ken and Lucille. It was written by Margaret E. Sangster and is entitled “Our Own.”

If I had known in the morning
How wearily all the day
            The words unkind
            Would trouble my mind
I said when you went away

I had been more careful, darling,
            Nor given you needless pain;
But we vex our own
With look and tone
            We might never take back again.

For though in the quiet evening
You may give me the kiss of peace,
            Yet it might be
            That never for me
The pain of the heart should cease

How many go forth in the morning
            That never come home at night
And hearts have broken
For harsh words spoken
            That sorrow can ne’er set right.

We have careful thoughts for the stranger,
And smiles for the sometime guest
            But often for our own
            The bitter tone
Though we love our own the best,

Oh, lips with the curve impatient,
            And brow with that look of scorn,
'Twere a cruel fate
Were the might too late
            To undo the work of the morn,

You may find, as Ken and Lucille Sheffield suggested, that saying positive things to your husband or wife when leaving in the morning can benefit the rest of the day.

And by following this practice during their marriage, Ken and Lucille were the benefactors. Just a few months before retiring, Ken was killed in an automobile accident at an intersection near Centerville.

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