Rape Victim Mustn’t Feel Need to Pay with Her Life

Published April 14, 1983. A young woman said something the other day that concerned me. We were talking about rape, and she said if she were ever confronted with it she would fight to her death. Then she said something even more startling. She stated that if she did not die while being raped, she would take her own life afterward.

When asked where she derived these attitudes, she indicted she felt this way after several discussions with others. She said she also believed husbands divorce wives who are raped and related that she even knew men who would never marry a woman who had been raped. In addition the woman indicated that if she were raped she would feel so immoral and unclean afterward that life would retain little meaning.

It was obvious to me after our discussion that this particular young woman, and perhaps several others, have many misunderstandings and misconceptions about the event of rape. Women who are raped are not perpetrators of a crime. They are victims of a crime! As such they should feel no more responsibility for the act than if they were robbed, beaten or had some other crime committed against them.

The young woman also revealed some of the myths and stereotypes about rape. The idea that most men would divorce, or never marry, someone who was raped discloses our ignorance about it. She had also been told that most women who are raped deserve it because it could be avoided in almost all cases.

We are fortunate to be living at a time when we can be better informed about rape. Pamphlets, brochures, films and lectures are available through a number of agencies. Most police departments have access to a pamphlet titled “The ABC’s of Self Protection.” This informative little booklet is usually available for a nominal fee. The Utah Council Criminal Justice Administration also has a brochure titled “Rape” which also contains some helpful information. Utah County, like many other counties, also has a rape crisis line phone number. In Utah County it is 801-226-8989.

These pamphlets give the following insights on rape:

-       Every 11 minutes, someone’s wife, child grandmother, or sister is raped in the United States. Most (an estimated 90 percent) of these instances are not reported to legal authorities and in many cases the rapist is not prosecuted and is set free, perhaps to rape again.

-       Rapists are not necessarily “dirty old men.” Over half of them are under 25 years of age. Three out of five are married and leading normal sex lives with their wives.

-       Over 70 percent of all rapes are planned. They don’t all happen in a dark alley, either. Half of all rapes occur in the victims’ homes.

-       Last, and perhaps most important, any woman can be raped – anywhere, anytime.

Everything possible should be done to avoid rape, and in next weeks’ column we will review some ways this might be done. As unpleasant as it may be, families should discuss the possibility of the wife and daughters confronting a rape situation in the future.

But before discussing necessary precautions to avoid rape, perhaps there is an even more immediate concern. That is the philosophical issue of whether or not rape is to be avoided at all costs, even if it means a woman losing her life to do so. With the increasing probability of women confronting rape, we should give more serious thought and discussion to the topic.

There are several causes of which people might give their life. In my opinion, a woman need not give her life, or take it, when she is the victim of any crime, including rape.