Recognize Diamonds in the Rough

Published August 2, 1984. I received a letter not long ago similar to others sent in during the past few months. These particular letters are from wives asking a common question. Should I give up on my marriage?

To these and other married couples contemplating such a decision, let me ask you a question. Would you be able to recognize a diamond in the rough?

There is an actual account of an African farmer who heard of the fortunes others were making mining diamonds. So he sold his farm and went in search of greener pastures. The farmer, however, was not very perceptive. He could not recognize diamonds in the rough. The man who purchased his farm did. The farmer had literally sold his farm covered with acres of diamonds which were still in the rough. Uncut and unpolished.

There is also the true story of R.U. Darby, who was caught up with “gold fever” during the gold-rush days. After weeks of labor he finally discovered a vein of gold in his Colorado mine and began to prosper. Then something happened. The vein of gold started to disappear. He had come to the end of the rainbow, and his literal pot of gold was vanishing before his eyes. Finally, he decided to quit and sold the mine to another miner for a small sum of money.

The new miner would not give up so easily. He called in an engineer to do some calculating. The engineer later advised him that the project had failed because the previous owner was not familiar with “fault lines” (an interesting analogy to marriage). The engineer’s calculations indicated that the gold vein would continue a few feet from where R.U. Darby had stopped digging. The new miner dug just three more feet and found one of the largest deposits of gold ever discovered, worth millions of dollars.

Perhaps too many contemporary marriages are ended prematurely by divorce. I am aware of one marriage recently that lasted only 27 days. In some instances divorce is not only an option it is the only feasible choice remaining. Not all uncut stones turn out to be diamonds. But numerous married couples, particularly newlyweds, become easily discouraged and give up too soon on their marriages. Their marriage may turn out to be something of immense value with a little more effort.

And the times when we are most discouraged are the ones when we must try to the hardest. Edgar A Guest expressed these sentiments in his poem “Don’t Quit.” It goes as follows:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you are trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high.

And you want to smile but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must – but don’t you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns.

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out

Don’t’ give up, though the pace seems slow –

You might succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out –

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt –

And you can never tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you are hardest hit –

It’s when things get worse that you mustn’t quit!

When you go looking elsewhere for greener pastures, just remember someone else is probably looking at yours. And if another pasture looks greener, perhaps it is getting better care and attention.