Resolve not to Do Some Things

December 29, 1983. At this time of year many individuals and perhaps married couples think of New Year’s Resolutions. Either individually or as a couple, we give serious thought to what we are going to try and accomplish during 1984.

Just for a new twist on New Year’s Resolutions, have you given any consideration to what you are not going to do or try to do during the coming year?

Many of us have been brought up on the philosophy of never giving up on difficult tasks. We remember our high school days and athletic events when we chanted “When the going get tough, the tough gets going.” And we have transferred this attitude to all areas of life.

We can also remember the story of the two frogs that fell into the bucket of cream. One thought, “I'll never get out of here,” and rolled over and drowned. The other frog kept on kicking and repeating “I can do it. I can do it.” With all his kicking, he finally churned the cream to butter, and he hopped out.

It is an inspiring story for frogs who might fall into a bucket of cream. But have you ever stopped to realize that many people are literally consumed, physically or mentally, by constantly expending effort on difficult tasks they may never change or complex situations they may never overcome?

Perhaps one of the great challenges in life is learning when to continue and when to give in. In essence, when do we hang on, and when do we let go? Our healthy, both mental and physical, may depend on our learning which to do at the appropriate time.

If you are of the “never give up” persuasion, consider the fact that the Danube River around Vienna is beautiful and warm in the summer. Many Viennese go upstream and swim down the river thought he pleasant countryside. But every year several people drown because they get caught in the river’s whirlpools.

Drowning in the Danube River could be avoided if the people only knew that all they would have to do is hold their breath while the whirlpool pulls them down. In a few seconds the water will spin them out again. Instead, the unfortunate swimmers struggle against the current until they lose their strength and drown.

The moral of this story reinforces that fact that we must learn in life when to hang on and when to let go. If we have faith in ourselves and life, we can distinguish what to do in a given situation. In some circumstances we are like the frogs in a bucket of cream and should hang on. In other circumstances we are like swimmers in a whirlpool and must let go. We should not struggle against circumstances that could consume us.

Yet, a lack of knowledge of ourselves and our capabilities often drives us to do the opposite. We struggle when we should wait, and we wait when we should struggle. We waste our energy trying to do what cannot be done and fight against facts of life that cannot be changed. If we do not become preoccupied with or resent the conditions in which we find ourselves, we can then focus on the areas in life where change and improvement are possible.

In setting goals or forming our resolutions for next year, let us give serious thought to knowing in which areas of life we should hang on, and in which ones we should let go. This thought is perhaps best expressed in a prayer adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous:

God grant me the serenity

To accept things I cannot change,

Courage to change things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.