How Would You Use Fictional State Grant? I’d Help Utah Families

Published April 12, 1990. We’ve heard a lot the past few days about social services in Utah. Like those in many other organizations, social services officials believe they are underfunded and understaffed. And perhaps they are. There are understandable concerns about proposed cutbacks in government funding on both the state and federal levels.

Utah families need help and support in many areas. The obvious needs seem to be economic in nature. Help is needed for those with low incomes who struggle just to meet daily needs. Private and government social service agencies also help many troubled teenagers as they make the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Numerous divorced mothers often need both emotional and financial aid as they assume the economic responsibilities for the children left in their care. A growing number of divorced fathers also need assistance as they assume the additional responsibilities of caring for children in their custody while they also learn the skills of maintaining a home.

The list goes on and on for services needed and largely provided for by social service agencies in Utah. Suppose, for a moment, that Governor Norm Bangerter and his staff were to somehow fund an additional large grant to help strengthen Utah’s families. And suppose the grant were given to you for implementation. Where would you start? What would you do? What would be the most beneficial program you could provide? Since many worthwhile programs are already under way, would you propose anything new? How would your grant money best be spent?

I know what I would do if I received the grant. I would do something to strengthen marriages in Utah. That may sound neither new nor innovative. But I think there needs to be greater emphasis on marital relationships within the family. And there is a rational basis for this concern.

We hear much nationwide from the press, pulpit, professors, and people that we should strengthen families. But that almost always turns out to mean “be better parents.” In Utah, I think we do a commendable job in at least acknowledging the need for stable family life. But I also believe we need to spend more time, and perhaps money, in advocating and promoting stable marriages. The simple truth for most of us is that “as goes the marriage, so goes the family.” Susan and I have found that to be the case in our marriage while rearing seven rather active children.

A stable marriage may well be the key to stable family life. In their book “Marriage Enrichment—Philosophy, Process, and Program,” Larry Hof and William Miller have noted, “This book focuses almost exclusively on marriage enrichment and does not give equal consideration to family enrichment because of our belief that the most effective and efficient way to enrich families is to focus on the husband-wife relationship. . . We believe that marriage enrichment can result in a motivation for, and actualization of, family enrichment. Therefore, we have chosen to focus our energy in this direction.”

I hope we continue to address the needs of families in Utah and help meet those needs with all the resources available. And at the same time, I would urge that all groups concerned give greater attention to how we might strengthen and support the married couples in this area who still care and provide the maintenance for the vast majority of children.

As Hof and Miller note, “The quality of the marital relationship greatly influences and may in fact determine, the quality of the total family relationship.”