Debating Old, New: 2 Views of Marriage

Published January 6, 1983. Recently I read an interesting book titled “Close Companions” by Dr. David R Mace. In the book, Dr. Mace noted that Ernest Burgess, who has been called the father of American family sociology, made an important observation nearly 40 years ago.

In 1945, Burgess said the family was undergoing a major transition. The institutional form of family life, as he called it, had served its purpose of maintaining social order in closed, hierarchical cultures. In the emerging open democratic society, the primary emphasis on social order would be replaced by a new emphasis on the quality of the relationships between family members.

According to Dr. Mace, Burgess said that marriage in the past was legalistic, hierarchical, and based on the performance of closely defined roles leading to cramping, confining relationships with little room for growth or change. Ernest Burgess saw the emerging companionship model of marriage as fluid, flexible, based on loving and creative interaction, and open to growth.

Burgess also considered the transition from the institutional marriage to the companionate marriage to be inevitable and irreversible. He also stated that the new pattern of marriage would be quite difficult to learn, but when learned would result in rich and meaningful relationships between husband and wife.

In “Close Companions,” Dr. Mace lists ten characteristics of the former traditional or Institutional Marriage and the new Companionship Marriage. See if you agree with his definitions and observations:

Institutional Marriage

1. One-vote system with the husband making all of the major decisions. 
2. Fixed roles with husband’s and wife’s roles clearly defined by gender. 
3. Husband is the sole provider, and the wife the homemaker. 
4. Husband initiates sexual interactions, and the wife complies. 
5. The basic concept of marriage is a hierarchy with husband most important, wife second in importance, and the children the least important. 
6. Martial issues are settled with reference to legalistic principles and rules. 
7. The wife is close to the children while the husband is the disciplinarian and authority figure. 
8. The husband is the autocratic religious leader of the family. 
9. Higher education is important for the husband but less so for the wife. 
10. Husband’s vocation decides the family residence.

Companionship Marriage

1. Two-vote system with decisions jointly made by husband and wife. 
2. Flexible roles based on personal choice and competence with little emphasis on gender difference. 
3. Flexible division of provider and homemaker functions. 
4. Sexual interaction initiated by either husband or wife. 
5. The basic concept of marriage is an equal partnership. 
6. Marital issues are settled with reference to personal and interpersonal needs. 
7. The husband and wife are both close to the children and both represent authority. 
8. Both husband and wife share religious functions of the family. 
9. Higher education is equally important for husband and wife. 
10. Family residence considers both the husband’s and wife’s vocation.

Has marriage changed during the past few decades? Was Burgess correct? Perhaps you could review the two types of marriage with your husband or wife and discuss your own expectations for your marriage.