Garbage Proves Fixed Roles Needed for Orderly Marriage

Published May 12, 1983. Wednesday is an interesting day at our home. It’s the day the city sends around the garbage truck to pick up the garbage. And someone has to take it out to the curb.

My wife and I were out jogging last Tuesday evening and the thought struck me that perhaps Susan should now start taking the garbage out on Wednesday morning.

So I said, “Susan, have you noticed who has taken the garbage out during our many years of marriage?”

“Yes,” she said, “and that is the way I want it.”

We jogged along a little farther and I said, “Why is it that you never take out the garbage?”

“For two simple reasons,” she replied, “First, the garbage cans are heavy, and second I don’t like garbage.”

Well, I have no real love for garbage either, but still, I thought we could start sharing the responsibility of getting the garbage cans to the curb Wednesday morning.

“According to research,” I said as I puffed along, “it is now the wife who takes out the garbage most of the time in contemporary marriage.”

“Whose research is that?” she asked as she was two steps ahead of me.

I hesitated.

“Actually, it is mine,” I replied. “As I drive along 10^th  East in Orem on my way to BYU on Wednesday mornings, I notice that relatively few men take out the garbage any more. I am one of the few remaining husbands in Orem, and perhaps the whole state of Utah, who still takes out the garbage.”

“Research and observations to the contrary, I’d rather not take out the garbage,” she said as we stopped to count pulse rates.

So I tried another approach. “You know, Susan, there are many changes today in what many perceive to be husband’s work and wife’s work. You’ve heard of blended roles, shared parenting, joint housekeeping, and all that. We’ve just got to become more contemporary in our marriage. We can’t be bound by these silly traditions, such as men must be the ones who always take out the garbage.”

We ran a little more. She didn’t say much, and I knew she was thinking. And that meant I was knee-deep in trouble.

“You want to do away with tradition, huh?”

“Yes,” I replied, “I think it is time for that.”

“And you think we should become a little more contemporary in our marriage, do you?”

Again, I stated that is what I wanted.

“OK,” she said, and she stopped. And this time it was not to count pulse rates. “We’ll do away with tradition and become more modern. I’ll start taking the garbage out every other week.”

We started jogging again and I chuckled inside. What a blow for male liberation. But we had not gone five strides when she continued, “And you start fixing breakfast on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Also, you may put the kids to bed on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. On Sunday, we’ll flip a coin . . . for equality. Loser fixes both dinner and puts the children to bed.”

We jogged for a few more minutes. No one said anything. This time I was thinking. Maybe taking the garage out every Wednesday morning was not so bad. There should be fixed roles so everyone knows who is supposed to do what. Order is essential in everyday life.

I ran a little ahead of Susan. “Where are you going?” she called.

“It’s getting dark and I want to get home early,” I turned around and shouted back. “I’m not sure I’ll have time to get the garbage cans out in the morning, and I want to make sure it is done tonight.”

As I quickened my pace she called ahead, “And what about breakfast . . . and putting the kids to bed?”

I said nothing. In fact, I didn’t even turn around and answer. I just ran and ran and ran.

Just out of curiosity, who takes out the garbage cans at your house?