For Today’s Moms: Some Worries New, Some Old

Published May 6, 1988. As most of us should be aware by now, next Sunday is Mother’s Day. Many will pause to honor our nation’s mothers. I recently received an advance copy of the May issue of “Ladies Home Journal” with some interesting notes on a recent survey conducted among contemporary mothers in America.

The number one concern of 43 percent of the mothers, according to the poll conducted by the Roper Organization, is protecting their children from drugs. Mothers today are also very concerned about their ability to motivate their children to achieve (17 percent).

They worry about the negative influence that the media and their children’s peers have on parental authority (36 percent). Other concerns included economic instability of their children’s future (20 percent), AIDS (17 percent), lack of help with child rearing from husbands (13 percent), and not being with children because they work (29 percent).

Yet, in spite of the difficulties, worries, and expenses involved in raising children today, 79 percent of the women were happy they have children and would gladly do it again. Twelve percent of the mothers had mixed feelings, and only seven percent said they would stay childless if they could make the decision again.

Almost half of the mothers surveyed say they most enjoyed their children’s infant and childhood years. Seventeen percent favored the ages six through 11, while as might be expected – 55 percent found the teenage years the toughest. The mothers agreed, however, that their children were wonderful again when they became adults themselves.

When asked in what ways they felt they were doing a better job than their own mothers, the women reported (1) establishing good communication with children; (2) spending quality time with children; and (3) seeing that their children get a good education.

And how did their mothers do a better job than themselves in child rearing? (1) Being patient and in control of anger; (2) providing a clean, well-organized house, and (3) being firm about rules and punishments.

In his book “Active Parenting,” Dr. Michael Popkin states the purpose of modern parenting is “to protect and prepare our children to survive and thrive in the world in which they live.” If so, today’s mothers may do their mothering a little different than in the past because the world in which our children live has changed. And maybe, just maybe, today’s mothers are doing an adequate job, given the times and circumstances in which we live. Perhaps mothers today are really doing a better job than they think.

I recently asked my wife Susan what she thought about being a mother. She thought it over and then said something that impressed me.  It likely expresses the sentiments of many other contemporary mothers. She said, “Being a mother today is more challenging than I ever dreamed . . . and is more rewarding than I ever imagined.”

Then she added, “Particularly if I get something more than cookie cutters from the kids for Mother’s Day.”

May God continue to bless mothers everywhere who bear and provide the majority of care for today’s children.