Executives Dumping Motherly Mates for Flashy ‘Trophy Wives’

Published November 2, 1989. Stephen R. Covey of Stephen R. Covey and Associates sent me an interesting article in the mail the other day. It was the cover story in the August 28, 1989 issue of Fortune Magazine. The title was “The CEO’s Second Wife,” written by Julie Connelly.

Traditionally, the chief executive officers of the nation’s largest companies, who are nearly all men, have been a conservative lot when it comes to marriage. Connelly notes in her article that in the 1960s only 6 to 8 percent of the officers divorced. In the 1980s the percentage who divorce has jumped to 12-15 percent. Even though the percentage is small, compared to the percentage of the general population who divorce, the increase is significant.

“In the corporate world,” she notes, “as in much of the rest of society, it took the roaring ‘80s to make divorce fully respectable. As the decade began, Americans inaugurated their first divorced president, a man who somehow managed to convince a nation that he was the embodiment of old-fashioned family values. If the CEO of the United States could shed and rewed, why not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company?”

There is a chart with the names of 43 top executives who are divorced and now remarried. “The change has been radical.” Connelly observes. But note the direction of the change. “Powerful men are beginning to demand trophy wives. The vulture of self-indulgence has just crept up to the CEO level. The ‘80s have seen the rise of the celebrity CEO who owes his fame to fortune. The more money men make, the argument goes, the more self-assured they become, and the easier it is for them to think: I deserve a queen.”

And what is the profile of these queens, the “trophy wives” as they are called? Julie Connelly notes, “They are a decade or two younger than their husbands, sometimes several inches taller, beautiful and often very accomplished.

“She often has her own business, typically an enterprise serious enough to win respect for her but not so large as to overshadow her husband. In addition to her business, there is the time-consuming process of looking good. These women have a finish to their appearance that usually bespeaks facials, religious application of expensive skin creams, and an actress’s skill with the paint box. And they are thin.”

And what of the first wife, the woman who stood by the man or even assisted him on his way to the top? The writer of the article observes, “While divorce no longer spells trauma for the executive’s career, the break-up of the marriage remains a personal blow, and the big loser is usually the first wife. Her fate is sealed in these four words: She Didn’t Keep Up. Keeping house and raising the kids seem to earn women fewer points in the great world nowadays, and they may begin to ask what they have sacrificed their own potential careers for. But as his first wife is waking up, the CEO is wanting out. The first mistake the first wife too often makes is allowing her children instead of her husband to become the focus of her life. In the process, she loses touch with him and his concerns.”

But will these trophy wives stay with the hunters as they bag their game and descend over the hill? Connelly concludes, “What happens when life in the fast lane starts pulling over to a slower track in deference to Harry’s pacemaker? When she (the trophy wife) faces the prospect of pushing him around in a wheelchair, what’s to prevent her from leaving him? A prenuptial agreement, limiting what she might get in a settlement? Perhaps – most second wives sign them. What it comes down to finally may be love, love sufficient to withstand the ‘for worse’ now that she’s had him ‘for better.’”